


A Gift

by Pawthorn



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, Cross-Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27996693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pawthorn/pseuds/Pawthorn
Summary: You are a gift.This is what you are raised to believe.You are a gift.But there's space in that word. Space to play and tease and prank. To talk to plants and raise a flock of beetles.A gift, a guardian, a gardener.But always, in the background, there's duty. There's responsibility. As you defend borders and comfort mourners and even die in faith to live again.Because you are a gift.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Clay Family, Caduceus Clay & The Mighty Nein
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	A Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Just me thinking about Caduceus inner life, family culture, trauma, emotional and mental health. Like I do.  
> Right or wrong, I see a lot of myself in Cad.

You are a gift.

This is what you are raised to believe.

You are a gift.

But there's space in that word. Space to play and tease and prank. To talk to plants and raise a flock of beetles.

A gift, a guardian, a gardener.

But always, in the background, there's duty. There's responsibility. As you defend borders and comfort mourners and even die in faith to live again.

Because you are a gift.

Your particular gift is steadiness. Dependability. Calliope snaps. Colton sulks. Clarabelle cries.

You abide.

And so you do. You abide while the others leave. Seeking hope.

Which implies that hope cannot be found here. In the place you choose to stay.

Abide.

And for the next ten years, you wait.

For ten years, your best company is the plantlife, the animals. You talk to them, knowing they can understand. Wishing they could talk back.

For ten years, you watch as they fall to corruption.

For ten years, you cling to the faith that is, quite literally, all that remains.

For ten years, the only people you see are people who want something from you. Some ask nicely, and are helped. Some don't take no for an answer, and are dealt with.

A gift.

A guardian.

A gardener.

More people come. Wanting something from you. But it's a different want, and one you've been watching for.

So you go with them, because you can help them, and they can help your home and your family.

You are a gift.

Your travels with them aren't what you expect.  _ They _ aren't what you expect. They don't know what they're doing, and that makes you worried that  _ you _ don't know what you're doing.

But you  _ have  _ to know, because you are a gift, a guardian, a gardener. And it's not your place not to know, not when they ask you questions about faith and life and destiny and look to you for wisdom the way you always looked to your parents and Corrin.

So you banish uncertainty, nervousness, fear, all the parts of yourself that won't help them.

You abide.

And along the way, they find your family and save your home. And of course you can't leave them after that. Because you are a gift, a guardian, and a gardener. And the Grove will have plenty of those now that your family is found, but the Mighty Nein don't.

They are a garden, beautiful and complementary plants weaving and entangling and bearing fruit. They can't nourish and water themselves, can't prune the bad ideas, chase away the aphids that naw, provide support and direction for the stalks, make sure everyone is getting enough sun. That is your job.

Because you aren't one to bear fruit yourself, but you can nurture and protect it in others. And you will put everything of yourself aside to do it.

You will abide.

Because you are a gift.

A guardian.

A gardener.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
